True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
