We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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