whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
