i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
