just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize