Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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