I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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