He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
