It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
