Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
