I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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