Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
