i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
