He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize