It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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