I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
