The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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