Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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