He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
