So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
