It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize