To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
