When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
