I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
