2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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