I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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