Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
pray to the hookup gods
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