Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Semen is not good for contacts.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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