As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
