did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
