We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize