just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
