i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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