so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
His hands were made for my vagina.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
