LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
her facebook's as public as her vagina
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
