i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
