physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
