All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
