wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
