I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
