ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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