so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
