It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Someone came in the potted fern
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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