We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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