quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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