All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
