if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
