I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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