I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
