he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
