your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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