He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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