okay pat passed out under dana's car
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
