I think I won the penis lottery.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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