seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
