Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
