Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
