You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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