Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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