After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
