I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
where does the pee come out of this thing
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
