I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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