my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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