Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
