I just made out with a guy for $7.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
