i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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