it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
