The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
