Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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