ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
