If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My dick has a subreddit
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
